Article Presented by:
Copyright © 2009 Enzo F. Cesario
Okay, you're the proud mama or papa to your brand new website. Now what? This isn't like the movies - just because you built it doesn't mean they'll come. The Internet is a huge limitless space with ever-growing numbers of websites. You are just one small website among millions. How will anybody ever find you? How do you become visible? Right now, you just exist out in the web, untethered. You need to become visible when someone searches for you and one way to become visible to people is to become visible to search engines. And one way to become visible to search engines such as Google, Yahoo, or MSN is for your site to be tethered, or linked to other sites.
If you've spent any time reading Internet marketing blogs you know that link building is a huge part of a marketing campaign. Backlinks - links that point to your website - are a major factor in determining your popularity or ranking with the search engines. And of course, just like in high school, you want to be popular.
You can buy your way into links, but here we're talking about a few free and easy ways. An obvious and natural way to build links is through content. When you start a link-building campaign for your new website, focus on attracting links that will add value for your website visitors and best represent your most important keywords too. It is invaluable to have visitors go to your site and share your content.
Here are a few easy and mostly free ways to build links for your website.
Blog-Based Link Building
One way to get natural links back to your website is by setting up a blog for your company. Make sure you network online with other blogs that complement yours. If you share industry news and have useful and relevant content, you'll attract links. Reference other bloggers in your content and link to other blogs in your industry.
For blogs, content is extremely important. Every time you add words to your blog or website, you are presenting yourself to a potentially huge audience. How does your blog's content reflect your company? This content could be the page that carries your company's name around the Internet world. Cheap content is just that - cheap. Create content that people want to read and that will make them come back again and again.
Reviewing products and services and posting those reviews on other sites is another way to build links. Your honest evaluations and smart opinions can also build your reputation as an expert in your field.
Link Building with Social Media
Another way to build natural links to your website is through social media sites like Facebook, LinkedIn, MySpace and Twitter. These sites allow you to set up a user profile where you can add information about you and your company including a link to your website.
Some sites, Facebook for example, also have a way to promote your business with a page, ad or group. Just keep in mind that there are good ways and bad ways to promote your business on social sites and you should observe proper etiquette when you do.
Link Building with Organizations and Directories
If your industry has professional organizations or associations that you belong to, check with them and see if they have an online directory with links to member sites. They may or may not charge a fee for this. If they do, it shouldn't be much.
Check with your local Chamber of Commerce or Better Business Bureau. Links from sites like these can be very helpful. Check with other local businesses and organizations that have lists of businesses and request links from them, too.
Online directories are another opportunity to look into. Yahoo! Directory is a good one. If your business is in a specific geographical area, you might also find some local directories to submit to that will boost your local visibility.
Links from Charities or Non-profits
If your company makes charitable donations to organizations and non-profits, see if they have a "donors" list on their website and ask if they will link to your website.
Links from Press Releases
Has your business just started or have you just launched a new product? A press release is a great idea to announce your news. There are quite a few press release distribution services available and some have a free first time offer.
Links from Partners
If your website offers information about other partner websites like business directories, you should make sure to use all your linking potential. You could have a badge that your partner could put on their site linking to you and one for your site that links to theirs.
If you have an RSS feed or a widget on your site that has good value to visitors, those can be taken from your website and displayed on another person's website, linking back to your site.
The Internet is constantly evolving and there are thousands of ways to build links. Look around at other websites and see what they have and how they work. Look at your business, think outside the box and you might come up with other ways to develop links. If it all seems like too much, there are many online consulting companies that can help with link building, SEO optimization and brandcasting.
About the Author:
Enzo F. Cesario is a Copywriter and co-founder of Brandsplat, the only online marketing and advertising company employing Brandcasting, the most effective way to brand your company on the web. Brandcasting uses informative content and state-of-the-art internet distribution and optimization to build links and drive the right kind of traffic to your website. The approach is simple, highly effective and affordable. Learn more at: http://www.Brandsplat.com/
Read more of Enzo F. Cesario's articles.
Friday, July 17, 2009
Create Information Products - Step by Step On Using Ghostwriting Services
Article Presented by:
Copyright © 2009 Alan Cheng
Successful online marketers create information products that are in-demand and sell them online. It's one of the most popular and effective ways to make money on the internet. An information product, or an ebook requires no inventory and the profit margins are huge.
In this article, I'll summarize the crucial steps you need follow to create your own information product by outsourcing to respectable ghostwriting services...
The reasons you would want to outsource your information product creation are:
1. You have a phobia with writing, or you just don't like the task
2. You don't have enough time
3. You don't have the expertise to create information products
If any of the above applies to you, then you can consider using special ghostwriting services to create the information product for you. This is a fast and easy way to create a quality product to sell, while you can fully concentrate on just marketing the product.
Here are 5 steps on how to create information products by hiring a professional writer.
1. Choose Your Niche
To decide the topic for your ebook, you need to do some thorough online research. You should choose a niche which many people have an interest in, and who are willing to buy the information. It will be even better, if the niche is something which you're knowledgeable in.
Go to forums that are related to the niche, and view the posts. See if there is a lot of interest on certain problems which people want to know about.
Next you can search for magazines whether online or offline, and see if there's a magazine for the niche. This is proof that there is demand for the topic. Otherwise, people would not run a magazine on it.
Never, try to create an ebook on a topic which has never been done before. Chances are that it won't sell. Try to look for similar ebooks that are already selling well and create an information product which is better.
2. List Out The Problems
Once you've decided what your information product is about, you need to list out certain problems which the market is interested in. If the subject is about PC repair, then you need to list out the common problems people would want to know about repairing PCs.
Get this information from forums and from search engines. Consolidate the list of problems and choose the best ones which you think your prospects will be interested in.
3. Hire A Ghost Writer
Your next step is to hire a ghost writer, or ghostwriting company to write your information product. There are many professional writers which you can find online, but don't choose one based on the lowest price.
You need to hire a professional writer who has experience in creating information products for their clients. This includes the ebook, website, sales copy to sell the ebook, squeeze page to capture prospects' emails and a thank you page.
Some companies offer these ghostwriting services as a whole package, but there aren't many of them. An example of such a company is 'Best Instant Sites' which offers a complete solution for creating information products.
4. Discuss The Terms
With your chosen ghostwriter, you need to discuss the terms before giving payment. Tell them your idea of the information product you want and list the subjects you want written about, from what you gathered in your research.
Ask the professional writer to research the topic in more detail when writing the ebook. Then ask when the delivery date is. Never push the writer for an earlier deadline. You want the ebook to be written professionally. Rushing a writing project seldom creates quality.
For the design of your website, tell the ghostwriter what kind of look you're looking for and the words you want shown. Give examples of website designs that you like so that the professional writer knows your preference.
5. Following Up With The Progress
A few days before the deadline of your information product, contact the ghostwriter and ask him or her for the progress. He would either tell you everything is as planned or he would tell you that there is a possible delay.
The point of following up is to tell the writer that you care and it gives him a chance to ask you any questions he can think of. You can even ask for a draft of the website design to see if it matches what you want.
Good professional writers will always contact you a few days beforehand if there's a possible delay, but just in case you hired a not-so-professional writer, it will be wise if you followed up a few times before the deadline.
Following these steps, you can create an information product of your own and start making money online like the experts. The key to success is hiring the right professional writer. You need a writer that has experience in creating information products. And of course, you also need good marketing skills to sell your product online. Some ghostwriters offer advice on marketing online. You need to ask.
About the Author:
Download the report "Build Your Own Business Using Information Products" at create information products. Alan Cheng is a professional writer at http://www.bestinstantsites.com/ If you want to outsource your information product creation, visit professional writer at Best Instant Sites.
Read more Articles written by Alan Cheng.
Copyright © 2009 Alan Cheng
Successful online marketers create information products that are in-demand and sell them online. It's one of the most popular and effective ways to make money on the internet. An information product, or an ebook requires no inventory and the profit margins are huge.
In this article, I'll summarize the crucial steps you need follow to create your own information product by outsourcing to respectable ghostwriting services...
The reasons you would want to outsource your information product creation are:
1. You have a phobia with writing, or you just don't like the task
2. You don't have enough time
3. You don't have the expertise to create information products
If any of the above applies to you, then you can consider using special ghostwriting services to create the information product for you. This is a fast and easy way to create a quality product to sell, while you can fully concentrate on just marketing the product.
Here are 5 steps on how to create information products by hiring a professional writer.
1. Choose Your Niche
To decide the topic for your ebook, you need to do some thorough online research. You should choose a niche which many people have an interest in, and who are willing to buy the information. It will be even better, if the niche is something which you're knowledgeable in.
Go to forums that are related to the niche, and view the posts. See if there is a lot of interest on certain problems which people want to know about.
Next you can search for magazines whether online or offline, and see if there's a magazine for the niche. This is proof that there is demand for the topic. Otherwise, people would not run a magazine on it.
Never, try to create an ebook on a topic which has never been done before. Chances are that it won't sell. Try to look for similar ebooks that are already selling well and create an information product which is better.
2. List Out The Problems
Once you've decided what your information product is about, you need to list out certain problems which the market is interested in. If the subject is about PC repair, then you need to list out the common problems people would want to know about repairing PCs.
Get this information from forums and from search engines. Consolidate the list of problems and choose the best ones which you think your prospects will be interested in.
3. Hire A Ghost Writer
Your next step is to hire a ghost writer, or ghostwriting company to write your information product. There are many professional writers which you can find online, but don't choose one based on the lowest price.
You need to hire a professional writer who has experience in creating information products for their clients. This includes the ebook, website, sales copy to sell the ebook, squeeze page to capture prospects' emails and a thank you page.
Some companies offer these ghostwriting services as a whole package, but there aren't many of them. An example of such a company is 'Best Instant Sites' which offers a complete solution for creating information products.
4. Discuss The Terms
With your chosen ghostwriter, you need to discuss the terms before giving payment. Tell them your idea of the information product you want and list the subjects you want written about, from what you gathered in your research.
Ask the professional writer to research the topic in more detail when writing the ebook. Then ask when the delivery date is. Never push the writer for an earlier deadline. You want the ebook to be written professionally. Rushing a writing project seldom creates quality.
For the design of your website, tell the ghostwriter what kind of look you're looking for and the words you want shown. Give examples of website designs that you like so that the professional writer knows your preference.
5. Following Up With The Progress
A few days before the deadline of your information product, contact the ghostwriter and ask him or her for the progress. He would either tell you everything is as planned or he would tell you that there is a possible delay.
The point of following up is to tell the writer that you care and it gives him a chance to ask you any questions he can think of. You can even ask for a draft of the website design to see if it matches what you want.
Good professional writers will always contact you a few days beforehand if there's a possible delay, but just in case you hired a not-so-professional writer, it will be wise if you followed up a few times before the deadline.
Following these steps, you can create an information product of your own and start making money online like the experts. The key to success is hiring the right professional writer. You need a writer that has experience in creating information products. And of course, you also need good marketing skills to sell your product online. Some ghostwriters offer advice on marketing online. You need to ask.
About the Author:
Download the report "Build Your Own Business Using Information Products" at create information products. Alan Cheng is a professional writer at http://www.bestinstantsites.com/ If you want to outsource your information product creation, visit professional writer at Best Instant Sites.
Read more Articles written by Alan Cheng.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Does Your Company Tag Line Pass These Five Crucial Tests?
Article Presented by:
Copyright © 2009 Marcia Yudkin
Judging from the many disastrous slogans that state tourism boards have happily paid tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars for, even marketing professionals often use totally subjective criteria to select tag lines. Do we like it? Is it catchy and memorable? Does it make us feel good?
I suggest replacing the "feel-good" test with five much more grounded criteria. When you're trying to decide on the best tag line to accompany your organization's name on the web site, brochures, business cards, stationery, ads, mugs and mouse pads, make sure your winner passes these five tests.
1. Does it apply to you and not to competitors? Few people would match "Great Potatoes. Tasty Destinations." to any other state than Idaho. But there's nothing in "Worth a Visit, Worth a Lifetime" to indicate Maine any more than Minnesota, Michigan or Montana. If your tag line does not highlight something distinctive about your company, it's not making much of a difference to prospective customers, either.
2. Does it have nothing but positive connotations? I'm baffled about how "Seize the Day Off" is supposed to reflect well on Maryland. Are all the jobs in that state so horrible that everyone there lives for the weekend? Likewise, "Things Look Different Here" could equally be taken as a bad thing as a good thing about Oregon, which used that slogan for many years.
3. Does it have emotional oomph? "Greatest Snow on Earth" is certainly an energetic advertisement for Utah. Similarly, Kentucky's "Unbridled Spirit," which refers to its horse-related traditions, has emotional strength. Your tag line should convey energy rather than being flat and factual.
4. Are the tone and content appropriate for the target market? The District of Columbia has had "Taxation Without Representation" on its license plates, which functions well as an activist slogan for its own residents. But for tourists, that slogan would come across as bombastic and irrelevant. Always keep your target market firmly in mind when generating and screening tag lines. You are not writing it for yourselves but for those you want to attract.
5. Do you have good reasons for wanting to replace the previous tag line? Don't toss it in the trash just because you are tired of it. Remember that because you undoubtedly hear and see your own tag line much more than your target market does, you may get tired of it years sooner than they will. It's very rare for a state to keep a successful slogan alive for more than a decade because politicians and tourism officials get more and more itchy to put their mark on their entity's branding. That's a very bad reason to change. If the audience has stopped responding to it, or it has begun to be ridiculed - those are good reasons to look for a new tag line.
When you weigh your favorite tag lines with these five tests, you reduce the chances of choosing one that exposes your organization to ridicule. You boost the chances of coming out a winner.
About the Author:
Marcia Yudkin is Head Stork of Named At Last, a company that brainstorms creative business names, product names and tag lines for clients. For a systematic process of coming up with an appealing and effective name or tag line, download a free copy of "19 Steps to the Perfect Company Name, Product Name or Tag Line" at http://www.namedatlast.com/19steps.htm
Read more Articles written by Marcia Yudkin.
Copyright © 2009 Marcia Yudkin
Judging from the many disastrous slogans that state tourism boards have happily paid tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars for, even marketing professionals often use totally subjective criteria to select tag lines. Do we like it? Is it catchy and memorable? Does it make us feel good?
I suggest replacing the "feel-good" test with five much more grounded criteria. When you're trying to decide on the best tag line to accompany your organization's name on the web site, brochures, business cards, stationery, ads, mugs and mouse pads, make sure your winner passes these five tests.
1. Does it apply to you and not to competitors? Few people would match "Great Potatoes. Tasty Destinations." to any other state than Idaho. But there's nothing in "Worth a Visit, Worth a Lifetime" to indicate Maine any more than Minnesota, Michigan or Montana. If your tag line does not highlight something distinctive about your company, it's not making much of a difference to prospective customers, either.
2. Does it have nothing but positive connotations? I'm baffled about how "Seize the Day Off" is supposed to reflect well on Maryland. Are all the jobs in that state so horrible that everyone there lives for the weekend? Likewise, "Things Look Different Here" could equally be taken as a bad thing as a good thing about Oregon, which used that slogan for many years.
3. Does it have emotional oomph? "Greatest Snow on Earth" is certainly an energetic advertisement for Utah. Similarly, Kentucky's "Unbridled Spirit," which refers to its horse-related traditions, has emotional strength. Your tag line should convey energy rather than being flat and factual.
4. Are the tone and content appropriate for the target market? The District of Columbia has had "Taxation Without Representation" on its license plates, which functions well as an activist slogan for its own residents. But for tourists, that slogan would come across as bombastic and irrelevant. Always keep your target market firmly in mind when generating and screening tag lines. You are not writing it for yourselves but for those you want to attract.
5. Do you have good reasons for wanting to replace the previous tag line? Don't toss it in the trash just because you are tired of it. Remember that because you undoubtedly hear and see your own tag line much more than your target market does, you may get tired of it years sooner than they will. It's very rare for a state to keep a successful slogan alive for more than a decade because politicians and tourism officials get more and more itchy to put their mark on their entity's branding. That's a very bad reason to change. If the audience has stopped responding to it, or it has begun to be ridiculed - those are good reasons to look for a new tag line.
When you weigh your favorite tag lines with these five tests, you reduce the chances of choosing one that exposes your organization to ridicule. You boost the chances of coming out a winner.
About the Author:
Marcia Yudkin is Head Stork of Named At Last, a company that brainstorms creative business names, product names and tag lines for clients. For a systematic process of coming up with an appealing and effective name or tag line, download a free copy of "19 Steps to the Perfect Company Name, Product Name or Tag Line" at http://www.namedatlast.com/19steps.htm
Read more Articles written by Marcia Yudkin.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
The LPI Certification Is The De Facto Standard For Linux Professionals
Article Presented by:
Copyright © 2009 Frank Pines
Today Linux is a very potent tool for a successful project in a highly competitive marketplace.
With its certification programs, the Linux Professional Institute (LPI) has constantly raised the bar of excellence. It has continuously provided support to Linux professionals to meet the industry demands for expert skills. LPI has been acknowledged universally as a leader in providing professional help with Linux, Open Source, and Free Software.
The Linux Professional Institute Certification (LPIC) program has been designed to recognize the capabilities of IT professionals, who have proven themselves capable of operating within the Linux operating system. These certificates are distributed to computer professionals in hundreds of cities around the world.
LPI intends to develop and recognize important Linux and Open Source talent around the globe, by providing complete and high standard tests.
LPI offers a formal and standardized program both for students and training centers alike. These programs improve the quality of market and also arm the students with powerful certifications that can be used to enhance their career prospects.
The LPI Certification Program has been developed by Linux professionals and IT institutions, around the world. The Linux Professional Institute depends on the response reports it receives from many of the skilled professionals, who work with Linux each and every day.
Interestingly, the Linux Professional Institute is independent of vendors and has no commitment bias in regard to its service. This has led to diverse and multiple techniques to the general design of the test. It has become one of the most comprehensive and global exams presented anywhere in the world.
The LPI certificate is one of the most respected and requested job requirements, among computer professionals and major organizations, for applicants seeking IT jobs. Many independent companies, outside of LPI, have enhanced the Linux certification program and this is possible because there is no totalitarian authority controlling the Linux operating system.
The vital distinction between LPI and other such programs is that, LPI has been incorporated as entirely vendor-independent and distribution neutral.
The largest corporations in the world have recognized the exam standard and the tests have become a reflection of the standards these corporations expect from their professional IT staffers.
The LPI certification is based on three levels:
Junior Level Administration (LPIC-1): this level consists of two tests the 101 and the 102. They can be taken in any order. This level expects you to work at the command line, execute fundamental maintenance, and set up a workstation with a connection to a network.
Advanced Level Administration (LPIC-2): the candidate needs to pass the 201 and 202 exams to qualify at this level. These tests can also be taken in any order. Also the candidate has to pass the Junior Level Test. You will need to govern an average-sized website by using Linux or Microsoft servers. You will also oversee your juniors and then report to senior management.
Senior Level Administration (LPIC-3): LPI's Certification Program concludes with the LPIC-3 exam. The test papers are 301 and 302.
The LPI exams are computer-based tests done through Pearson VUE and Prometric. LPI exams are also provided in Japanese, German, Chinese, French, Portuguese and Spanish. It takes about two to five weeks to get the actual LPI certificate, after notification of your pass status.
About the Author:
Written by Frank Pines of CDI Communications Inc. - CDI Communications is a leader in implementation of instructional strategies for MCSE, AutoCAD, Sap, Skillsoft, CCNA, MCTS, Cisco, MCITP, MCTS, Microsoft Office, Oracle, Crystal Report, Knowledgenet, SAP, NetG, A+ Training and Linux LPI Certification. Visit CDI Communications Inc. at: http://www.netwind.com/ OR follow Frank on Twitter at: @cdicomp
Read more of Frank Pines's articles.
Copyright © 2009 Frank Pines
Today Linux is a very potent tool for a successful project in a highly competitive marketplace.
With its certification programs, the Linux Professional Institute (LPI) has constantly raised the bar of excellence. It has continuously provided support to Linux professionals to meet the industry demands for expert skills. LPI has been acknowledged universally as a leader in providing professional help with Linux, Open Source, and Free Software.
The Linux Professional Institute Certification (LPIC) program has been designed to recognize the capabilities of IT professionals, who have proven themselves capable of operating within the Linux operating system. These certificates are distributed to computer professionals in hundreds of cities around the world.
LPI intends to develop and recognize important Linux and Open Source talent around the globe, by providing complete and high standard tests.
LPI offers a formal and standardized program both for students and training centers alike. These programs improve the quality of market and also arm the students with powerful certifications that can be used to enhance their career prospects.
The LPI Certification Program has been developed by Linux professionals and IT institutions, around the world. The Linux Professional Institute depends on the response reports it receives from many of the skilled professionals, who work with Linux each and every day.
Interestingly, the Linux Professional Institute is independent of vendors and has no commitment bias in regard to its service. This has led to diverse and multiple techniques to the general design of the test. It has become one of the most comprehensive and global exams presented anywhere in the world.
The LPI certificate is one of the most respected and requested job requirements, among computer professionals and major organizations, for applicants seeking IT jobs. Many independent companies, outside of LPI, have enhanced the Linux certification program and this is possible because there is no totalitarian authority controlling the Linux operating system.
The vital distinction between LPI and other such programs is that, LPI has been incorporated as entirely vendor-independent and distribution neutral.
The largest corporations in the world have recognized the exam standard and the tests have become a reflection of the standards these corporations expect from their professional IT staffers.
The LPI certification is based on three levels:
Junior Level Administration (LPIC-1): this level consists of two tests the 101 and the 102. They can be taken in any order. This level expects you to work at the command line, execute fundamental maintenance, and set up a workstation with a connection to a network.
Advanced Level Administration (LPIC-2): the candidate needs to pass the 201 and 202 exams to qualify at this level. These tests can also be taken in any order. Also the candidate has to pass the Junior Level Test. You will need to govern an average-sized website by using Linux or Microsoft servers. You will also oversee your juniors and then report to senior management.
Senior Level Administration (LPIC-3): LPI's Certification Program concludes with the LPIC-3 exam. The test papers are 301 and 302.
The LPI exams are computer-based tests done through Pearson VUE and Prometric. LPI exams are also provided in Japanese, German, Chinese, French, Portuguese and Spanish. It takes about two to five weeks to get the actual LPI certificate, after notification of your pass status.
About the Author:
Written by Frank Pines of CDI Communications Inc. - CDI Communications is a leader in implementation of instructional strategies for MCSE, AutoCAD, Sap, Skillsoft, CCNA, MCTS, Cisco, MCITP, MCTS, Microsoft Office, Oracle, Crystal Report, Knowledgenet, SAP, NetG, A+ Training and Linux LPI Certification. Visit CDI Communications Inc. at: http://www.netwind.com/ OR follow Frank on Twitter at: @cdicomp
Read more of Frank Pines's articles.
What My Mother Taught Me About Credit Cards And Family Finances
Article Presented by:
Copyright © 2007-2009 Braxton Heitz
My mother is an amazing woman. She made some of the hardest jobs imaginable look easy. No matter how hard her day was, she always had a smile and perfect hair.
She was mainly a stay at home mom but she worked cleaning houses when our family's financial situation called for more income. My dad was a soldier, so he didn't make a lot of money. The holidays usually wiped out our family savings account, but no one ever complained.
My mom has always been a money master. Her philosophy is a simple one that has never failed her. Work hard and spend little.
Mom is not an old woman, but her mother was raised during the Great Depression and eventually had to raise seven children on her own. She taught my mom how to make a can of beans last for weeks and my mom taught me, much to my husband's displeasure.
While I admire my matriarchs' simplistic approach to finances, it does not address the inevitable problems of credit and taxes. My education in money matters was limited to just mom's basic philosophy of life.
The world outside of my parent's traditional home was not quite what I was expecting, or what I had been prepared to handle. Despite the best intentions of my foremothers, there are still a few things that I wish my mother had taught me...
Credit Card Interest Hurts
Getting my own credit card for the first time was such a thrill. I bought my share of useless junk that I did not need. Unfortunately, I was not as cautious with my spending as I should have been.
Before I knew it, my credit card balance was astronomical. I could barely make my minimum payments. Since I started out with no credit, my interest rates were astronomical. It took months of payments before I finally began to pay on the principle and not just the interest.
After about a year I finally paid off the balance of my initial expenditures. I've been much more cautious with how much I will charge on a credit card, since my initial graduation from the school of hard knocks.
Don't Spend Money You Don't Have
Credit cards are tempting; because they allow us to spend money we don't have in our pockets. Ideally, when we spend money, we have the money in our bank accounts and just forgot to go to the ATM. Of course, most of us know that this is not the case.
Sometimes we spend money on important things. Buying groceries on Tuesday when we don't get paid until Friday for example. These are harmless purchases as long as we keep in mind how much we are getting paid on Friday.
Keeping a budget is probably the greatest thing a credit card holder can do. With a well-planned budget, anyone can track their finances in a way that allows them to spend wisely and with confidence.
Keep a Record And Look At It
With the ease of using credit cards to pay bills and buy stuff, it can be difficult to keep an accurate record of where our money is going. Ours is a generation that does not regularly balance their checkbook. Online banking has made it too easy to just check our available bank account summaries.
We don't scrutinize every transaction like our parents did. We simply trust the bank and believe that they would not make any errors. Credit card companies allow us to make payments online with out ever receiving a bill.
It has become incredibly easy to ignore the sheer volume of purchases made in a month. Credit card companies like to help us in our denial any way they can. But, keeping track of where we are spending our money is the key to maintaining our accounts and our credit rating.
Good Credit is Important
A good credit rating can mean the difference between advantageous and difficult situations. There are many perks to having a good credit rating. Low APR rates are one of the best benefits of having a good credit score.
Being able to make major purchases, such as a home or a car, also requires good credit. The total amount that an individual will have to pay for a loan is determined by how much he or she pays in interest. If someone has bad credit, one could end up paying thousands of dollars more in interest over the life of a loan.
Good credit is easy to come by, if we are responsible. Paying our bills on time is the best thing we can do to help our credit. Not putting too much on a credit card or having too many credit cards, can also improve a person's credit score.
Rewards Are Good
I love presents and I love shopping. Getting rewards from my credit card company feels like little thank you gifts for shopping. It is a great feeling. I wish I could get presents for doing all of the things I like.
While each credit card company is different, almost all of them offer credit card rewards to their customers for spending money, something we have to do to anyway. With so many options available for credit card reward programs, it would be impossible to not find one suited to our needs.
Reward options are endless. One can receive cash back rewards, airline miles, travel rewards, or even discounts at some of our favorite stores. For the more humanitarian shoppers, there are rewards programs that donate a percentage of a purchase to the charity of their choice.
Take Advantage of All of the Perks
Special credit card offers are some of the best ways to save money on items we would have to purchase anyway, no matter what. Everyday household items are a necessity. Taking advantage of a 0% interest credit card offer on a cash back rewards card can help us earn money for buying something we truly need.
Many online websites are dedicated to helping consumers find the right credit card for their needs. If we take the time to properly research what it available, we can uncover a whole world of moneymaking possibilities. They exist right under our nose.
In many cases, it is possible to fill out an online credit card application and receive instant credit card approval. There are countless ways to find a credit card application for the consumer's card of choice.
Contacting a favorite store and inquiring about their credit options is an easy way to save money where we like to shop. Many people choose to receive a credit card from their bank to help establish a better relationship with the bank.
Final Thoughts
It is amazing how much we learn from experience. Unfortunately, most of it is from bad experiences. I know I would much rather learn from someone else's mistakes, but people generally do not like to talk about their bleak financial histories.
My parents did a good job of teaching me how to work hard and build a good life. Knowing about all of the rules and pitfalls surrounding credit, loans and credit cards was sadly missing from my life lessons.
Schools are beginning to offer personal finance courses, but they do not yet require students to take them. Every year, more and more people declare bankruptcy and our schools do nothing to educate our youth about the pitfalls of taking on too much credit.
With a sound foundation of the demands of responsible spending, credit cards can be a great tool. Whether you discover through experience or education, the knowledge of how to care for your finances will be one of the most important things you ever learn.
About the Author:
Braxton Heitz writes about family finances and the struggles of the job search. If you are looking to find job listings or looking to change careers in the current troubled economy, then visit the Jobs And Paychecks website at: http://www.jobsandpaychecks.com/
More new articles.
Copyright © 2007-2009 Braxton Heitz
My mother is an amazing woman. She made some of the hardest jobs imaginable look easy. No matter how hard her day was, she always had a smile and perfect hair.
She was mainly a stay at home mom but she worked cleaning houses when our family's financial situation called for more income. My dad was a soldier, so he didn't make a lot of money. The holidays usually wiped out our family savings account, but no one ever complained.
My mom has always been a money master. Her philosophy is a simple one that has never failed her. Work hard and spend little.
Mom is not an old woman, but her mother was raised during the Great Depression and eventually had to raise seven children on her own. She taught my mom how to make a can of beans last for weeks and my mom taught me, much to my husband's displeasure.
While I admire my matriarchs' simplistic approach to finances, it does not address the inevitable problems of credit and taxes. My education in money matters was limited to just mom's basic philosophy of life.
The world outside of my parent's traditional home was not quite what I was expecting, or what I had been prepared to handle. Despite the best intentions of my foremothers, there are still a few things that I wish my mother had taught me...
Credit Card Interest Hurts
Getting my own credit card for the first time was such a thrill. I bought my share of useless junk that I did not need. Unfortunately, I was not as cautious with my spending as I should have been.
Before I knew it, my credit card balance was astronomical. I could barely make my minimum payments. Since I started out with no credit, my interest rates were astronomical. It took months of payments before I finally began to pay on the principle and not just the interest.
After about a year I finally paid off the balance of my initial expenditures. I've been much more cautious with how much I will charge on a credit card, since my initial graduation from the school of hard knocks.
Don't Spend Money You Don't Have
Credit cards are tempting; because they allow us to spend money we don't have in our pockets. Ideally, when we spend money, we have the money in our bank accounts and just forgot to go to the ATM. Of course, most of us know that this is not the case.
Sometimes we spend money on important things. Buying groceries on Tuesday when we don't get paid until Friday for example. These are harmless purchases as long as we keep in mind how much we are getting paid on Friday.
Keeping a budget is probably the greatest thing a credit card holder can do. With a well-planned budget, anyone can track their finances in a way that allows them to spend wisely and with confidence.
Keep a Record And Look At It
With the ease of using credit cards to pay bills and buy stuff, it can be difficult to keep an accurate record of where our money is going. Ours is a generation that does not regularly balance their checkbook. Online banking has made it too easy to just check our available bank account summaries.
We don't scrutinize every transaction like our parents did. We simply trust the bank and believe that they would not make any errors. Credit card companies allow us to make payments online with out ever receiving a bill.
It has become incredibly easy to ignore the sheer volume of purchases made in a month. Credit card companies like to help us in our denial any way they can. But, keeping track of where we are spending our money is the key to maintaining our accounts and our credit rating.
Good Credit is Important
A good credit rating can mean the difference between advantageous and difficult situations. There are many perks to having a good credit rating. Low APR rates are one of the best benefits of having a good credit score.
Being able to make major purchases, such as a home or a car, also requires good credit. The total amount that an individual will have to pay for a loan is determined by how much he or she pays in interest. If someone has bad credit, one could end up paying thousands of dollars more in interest over the life of a loan.
Good credit is easy to come by, if we are responsible. Paying our bills on time is the best thing we can do to help our credit. Not putting too much on a credit card or having too many credit cards, can also improve a person's credit score.
Rewards Are Good
I love presents and I love shopping. Getting rewards from my credit card company feels like little thank you gifts for shopping. It is a great feeling. I wish I could get presents for doing all of the things I like.
While each credit card company is different, almost all of them offer credit card rewards to their customers for spending money, something we have to do to anyway. With so many options available for credit card reward programs, it would be impossible to not find one suited to our needs.
Reward options are endless. One can receive cash back rewards, airline miles, travel rewards, or even discounts at some of our favorite stores. For the more humanitarian shoppers, there are rewards programs that donate a percentage of a purchase to the charity of their choice.
Take Advantage of All of the Perks
Special credit card offers are some of the best ways to save money on items we would have to purchase anyway, no matter what. Everyday household items are a necessity. Taking advantage of a 0% interest credit card offer on a cash back rewards card can help us earn money for buying something we truly need.
Many online websites are dedicated to helping consumers find the right credit card for their needs. If we take the time to properly research what it available, we can uncover a whole world of moneymaking possibilities. They exist right under our nose.
In many cases, it is possible to fill out an online credit card application and receive instant credit card approval. There are countless ways to find a credit card application for the consumer's card of choice.
Contacting a favorite store and inquiring about their credit options is an easy way to save money where we like to shop. Many people choose to receive a credit card from their bank to help establish a better relationship with the bank.
Final Thoughts
It is amazing how much we learn from experience. Unfortunately, most of it is from bad experiences. I know I would much rather learn from someone else's mistakes, but people generally do not like to talk about their bleak financial histories.
My parents did a good job of teaching me how to work hard and build a good life. Knowing about all of the rules and pitfalls surrounding credit, loans and credit cards was sadly missing from my life lessons.
Schools are beginning to offer personal finance courses, but they do not yet require students to take them. Every year, more and more people declare bankruptcy and our schools do nothing to educate our youth about the pitfalls of taking on too much credit.
With a sound foundation of the demands of responsible spending, credit cards can be a great tool. Whether you discover through experience or education, the knowledge of how to care for your finances will be one of the most important things you ever learn.
About the Author:
Braxton Heitz writes about family finances and the struggles of the job search. If you are looking to find job listings or looking to change careers in the current troubled economy, then visit the Jobs And Paychecks website at: http://www.jobsandpaychecks.com/
More new articles.
Victims And Relationships Don’t Mix!
Article Presented by:
Copyright © 2009 Carol Chanel
In order for relationships to be truly fun, fulfilling, joyful and loving both people have to be emotionally healthy. That doesn't mean you still don't have some issues to resolve - that's part of life. It does mean that you aren't living a life as a victim of a past experience(s) and continuing to recreate more victim experiences.
If you want to have an amazing "rockin relationship" you can't be a victim and you can't be with a victim, because you will either set the person up to victimize you, or they will set you up to victimize them.
The Law of Attraction says we get what we think about, whether we want it or not. So if you're afraid of being a victim, you will have victim energy and you will attract a victimizer. Or you will perceive what someone does to you as victimizing you.
Let me give you a personal example. I have a childhood friend who had some experiences growing up that were painful. He was a victim, at that point. As he grew older in order to get attention he, probably unconsciously, stepped into the role of the "victim." Women flocked to him to take care of him, to nurture him and to rescue him.
All of that might be okay, if he didn't need to keep wearing the cloak of victim and recreating victim experiences - day in and day out. And he will try to set people up to victimize him. He'll interpret everything through the victim filter. So if you say you can't do something that he wants you to do, then you are letting him down; he'll play the "Poor Me." For example, if he calls one day when you're super busy and can't talk, he'll say you were unkind to him.
He also attracts people who do take advantage of him. Remember you get what you think about, whether you want it or not.
Now if you've been around someone who sees themselves as a victim, and lives as a victim, then you know it's a miserable and drama filled existence. Their lives are all drama and you can't have a normal, healthy relationship with them. And they aren't living in their truth as a powerful human being connected to pure positive energy.
That's the place where you want to be and want the other person to be.
The most important part of being around a victim is to not collude with them. Don't see them as a victim. Don't hold them in that energy. That's what they're used to. That's what they think they want, because that's how they're used to getting attention. It's the "Poor Me" routine. Don't go there with them.
What if instead you saw them as creative, resourceful and whole? What if you saw them as learning how they really wanted to be in life and that the victim role was one they played for a while and might now choose to leave behind?
From that place you're not pulled into their victim energy and they might be encouraged to change their perspective, to move into a new more fulfilling role.
Are You A Victim?
Now I've been talking about other people being the victim. What if you see yourself as a victim?
This is close to my heart, because I used to see myself as a victim. And sure enough, I would have experiences that made me look and feel like a victim.
Then one day a wise American Indian elder said to me, "You can either be a victim of your circumstances, or be victorious in your learning."
I loved that perspective. It felt so uplifting and powerful. And I realized I had a choice. And from that moment I always look at how to be victorious.
During the Beijing Olympics, US track and field star Lolo Jones was running the 100-meter hurdles final, in which she was heavily favored. She was leading the race when she clipped the second to the last hurdle. That knocked her off her stride and she finished well out of the medals.
What she said after the race - being victorious, not a victim - was that she felt the gold around her neck and that caused her to lose her focus for a split second. When you're jumping hurdles that split second is all it takes. She's not a victim. She may have not have medaled, but she knows what she did and she has a powerful learning that will be with her for the rest of her life.
Victims miss the opportunities for learning.
How Can You Be Victorious?
So if you see yourself as a victim, or if you keep being a victim of others, how can you change?
Before I tell you how to change I want to ask you to not be hard on yourself if you've been a victim. Sometimes, when we realize we've been creating it, we can get upset with ourselves. Don't go there. You didn't know any other way to be. And now I'm pointing out another way. So start with the "Beginners Mind" - open and curious, like you are starting your life over. You are.
So the first step is stop being mean to yourself. Your ego is the critical part of your mind. The victim's ego is cruel, critical, perfectionistic and judgmental. You can go to my ezine archive on my website and read May 18, 2004 "What Is Your Negative Self-Talk Doing to You" and June 29, 2006, "How Your Ego Holds You Hostage" to get information on how to quiet your critical voice. Your ego is your critical voice. The truth is it's probably not even yours, it's probably a father, mother, sibling or teachers voice. Don't give it attention. Be kind to yourself. Talk to yourself the way you would want a wise loving mother to talk to you.
Second, stop seeing yourself as a victim. Start remembering the good things that have happened to you in your life. The thing about victims is they don't look at the good things, or they discount them, or the focus is so weighted on the "bad" things that they don't give any attention to the "good" things.
Third, pay attention to where you might unconsciously set yourself up as a victim. If you know that a friend isn't responsible, don't ask them to feed your cat while you're on vacation. If your assistant doesn't have good people skills, don't ask her to talk to your clients. If your boyfriend is always late, don't ask him to take you to the airport to catch your flight. Don't set yourself up!
This one is a little tricky, because you've been unconsciously doing this for a while. If victim things are still happening, you're still doing it. Now remember, be kind to yourself. It's okay, you're in the process of changing.
And fourth, don't victimize others. I know you're saying, I would never do that. But I guarantee you, victims will at some point, unconsciously victimize others. Even if it's just a judgment or criticism of another person, or an abrupt communication. And if you unconsciously victimize another, then you'll feel really badly about yourself. Then from that place, you'll attract more victim experiences. So be conscious of your behavior.
And if you have victimized others, in any way, forgive yourself. I'm not saying to condone what you did; I'm saying to realize that you didn't know what you were doing. You were in a victim perspective and you were unconscious. You were wounded and you were reacting out of that wound.
Here's a lovely little saying I repeat every day:
"I call on the Law of Forgiveness for myself and all mankind, for all mistakes, misqualified energy, human unconsciousness and for straying from the light."
We are all trying to do the best as we can. We will make mistakes, we will go unconscious and stray from the light. And we can go back into the light and become victorious in our learning. And we can feel great about ourselves and from that place attract the most wonderful experiences into our life!
It's a choice. You can either be a victim of your circumstances or victorious in your learning.
Choose victorious!
Imagine the possibilities...
(c) Carol C. Chanel
About the Author:
Carol Chanel is a Certified Life Coach who works with people to create new, meaningful and FUN lives. You can learn more about how to create loving and healthy relationships, draw boundaries, not take things personally, be happy to be who you are, and make time for fun by going to her free ezine archive.
http://www.carolchanel.com/rockin_relationships.html
Read more Articles written by Carol Chanel.
Copyright © 2009 Carol Chanel
In order for relationships to be truly fun, fulfilling, joyful and loving both people have to be emotionally healthy. That doesn't mean you still don't have some issues to resolve - that's part of life. It does mean that you aren't living a life as a victim of a past experience(s) and continuing to recreate more victim experiences.
If you want to have an amazing "rockin relationship" you can't be a victim and you can't be with a victim, because you will either set the person up to victimize you, or they will set you up to victimize them.
The Law of Attraction says we get what we think about, whether we want it or not. So if you're afraid of being a victim, you will have victim energy and you will attract a victimizer. Or you will perceive what someone does to you as victimizing you.
Let me give you a personal example. I have a childhood friend who had some experiences growing up that were painful. He was a victim, at that point. As he grew older in order to get attention he, probably unconsciously, stepped into the role of the "victim." Women flocked to him to take care of him, to nurture him and to rescue him.
All of that might be okay, if he didn't need to keep wearing the cloak of victim and recreating victim experiences - day in and day out. And he will try to set people up to victimize him. He'll interpret everything through the victim filter. So if you say you can't do something that he wants you to do, then you are letting him down; he'll play the "Poor Me." For example, if he calls one day when you're super busy and can't talk, he'll say you were unkind to him.
He also attracts people who do take advantage of him. Remember you get what you think about, whether you want it or not.
Now if you've been around someone who sees themselves as a victim, and lives as a victim, then you know it's a miserable and drama filled existence. Their lives are all drama and you can't have a normal, healthy relationship with them. And they aren't living in their truth as a powerful human being connected to pure positive energy.
That's the place where you want to be and want the other person to be.
The most important part of being around a victim is to not collude with them. Don't see them as a victim. Don't hold them in that energy. That's what they're used to. That's what they think they want, because that's how they're used to getting attention. It's the "Poor Me" routine. Don't go there with them.
What if instead you saw them as creative, resourceful and whole? What if you saw them as learning how they really wanted to be in life and that the victim role was one they played for a while and might now choose to leave behind?
From that place you're not pulled into their victim energy and they might be encouraged to change their perspective, to move into a new more fulfilling role.
Are You A Victim?
Now I've been talking about other people being the victim. What if you see yourself as a victim?
This is close to my heart, because I used to see myself as a victim. And sure enough, I would have experiences that made me look and feel like a victim.
Then one day a wise American Indian elder said to me, "You can either be a victim of your circumstances, or be victorious in your learning."
I loved that perspective. It felt so uplifting and powerful. And I realized I had a choice. And from that moment I always look at how to be victorious.
During the Beijing Olympics, US track and field star Lolo Jones was running the 100-meter hurdles final, in which she was heavily favored. She was leading the race when she clipped the second to the last hurdle. That knocked her off her stride and she finished well out of the medals.
What she said after the race - being victorious, not a victim - was that she felt the gold around her neck and that caused her to lose her focus for a split second. When you're jumping hurdles that split second is all it takes. She's not a victim. She may have not have medaled, but she knows what she did and she has a powerful learning that will be with her for the rest of her life.
Victims miss the opportunities for learning.
How Can You Be Victorious?
So if you see yourself as a victim, or if you keep being a victim of others, how can you change?
Before I tell you how to change I want to ask you to not be hard on yourself if you've been a victim. Sometimes, when we realize we've been creating it, we can get upset with ourselves. Don't go there. You didn't know any other way to be. And now I'm pointing out another way. So start with the "Beginners Mind" - open and curious, like you are starting your life over. You are.
So the first step is stop being mean to yourself. Your ego is the critical part of your mind. The victim's ego is cruel, critical, perfectionistic and judgmental. You can go to my ezine archive on my website and read May 18, 2004 "What Is Your Negative Self-Talk Doing to You" and June 29, 2006, "How Your Ego Holds You Hostage" to get information on how to quiet your critical voice. Your ego is your critical voice. The truth is it's probably not even yours, it's probably a father, mother, sibling or teachers voice. Don't give it attention. Be kind to yourself. Talk to yourself the way you would want a wise loving mother to talk to you.
Second, stop seeing yourself as a victim. Start remembering the good things that have happened to you in your life. The thing about victims is they don't look at the good things, or they discount them, or the focus is so weighted on the "bad" things that they don't give any attention to the "good" things.
Third, pay attention to where you might unconsciously set yourself up as a victim. If you know that a friend isn't responsible, don't ask them to feed your cat while you're on vacation. If your assistant doesn't have good people skills, don't ask her to talk to your clients. If your boyfriend is always late, don't ask him to take you to the airport to catch your flight. Don't set yourself up!
This one is a little tricky, because you've been unconsciously doing this for a while. If victim things are still happening, you're still doing it. Now remember, be kind to yourself. It's okay, you're in the process of changing.
And fourth, don't victimize others. I know you're saying, I would never do that. But I guarantee you, victims will at some point, unconsciously victimize others. Even if it's just a judgment or criticism of another person, or an abrupt communication. And if you unconsciously victimize another, then you'll feel really badly about yourself. Then from that place, you'll attract more victim experiences. So be conscious of your behavior.
And if you have victimized others, in any way, forgive yourself. I'm not saying to condone what you did; I'm saying to realize that you didn't know what you were doing. You were in a victim perspective and you were unconscious. You were wounded and you were reacting out of that wound.
Here's a lovely little saying I repeat every day:
"I call on the Law of Forgiveness for myself and all mankind, for all mistakes, misqualified energy, human unconsciousness and for straying from the light."
We are all trying to do the best as we can. We will make mistakes, we will go unconscious and stray from the light. And we can go back into the light and become victorious in our learning. And we can feel great about ourselves and from that place attract the most wonderful experiences into our life!
It's a choice. You can either be a victim of your circumstances or victorious in your learning.
Choose victorious!
Imagine the possibilities...
(c) Carol C. Chanel
About the Author:
Carol Chanel is a Certified Life Coach who works with people to create new, meaningful and FUN lives. You can learn more about how to create loving and healthy relationships, draw boundaries, not take things personally, be happy to be who you are, and make time for fun by going to her free ezine archive.
http://www.carolchanel.com/rockin_relationships.html
Read more Articles written by Carol Chanel.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Nice Has Its Price!
Article Presented by:
Copyright © 2009 Carol Chanel
At the 2007 Grammy awards The Dixie Chicks song "I'm Not Ready to Make Nice" won the Grammy for best song.
The storm of controversy that spawned the song is known to many. The hottest selling female country band in music history, the Dixie Chicks, got knocked off a lot of radio stations and suffered significant financial losses when one of them expressed a political viewpoint during a London concert in 2003. Whether you agree with them or not, isn't what I want to focus on in this article.
As the Dixie Chicks worked their way out of the controversy, they wrote an award-winning, powerful song that can be a great guide for all of us.
"I'm not ready to make nice. I'm not ready to back down...I don't have time to go round and round and round...I've paid a price and I'll keep paying... I can't bring myself to do what it is you think I should."
That last line is the key to living your life from a place of freedom, peace and joy. If you try to live your life to please others, or to do what they think you should, you'll never be happy or fulfill your dreams.
People will find all sorts of ways to try to manipulate you into doing things their way. They will give you gifts, promotions, raises, love (well not really, but they say they will), housing, food, and validation. They will act pouty, whiney, controlling, angry or aloof to try to get you to do things their way. And all you have to do is give in, speak, act and do it their way. All you have to do is sell your soul!
Am I being dramatic? Not really. When you live your life by someone else's standards and wishes, you aren't living it according to what feels great for you. And you will never be happy under those circumstances. And it's your life!
As women, many of us were raised to be nice little girls. We were taught that being people pleasers had benefits. After all most of us had moms and dads who validated, rewarded and loved us when we were good.
And that might have been okay when we were small, since we couldn't survive without mom and dad, but now as women it's not good for us.
I'm not implying that you need to be nasty. Kind and firm are appropriate and a great guide for living your life, especially combined with humble and loving.
But if you think that you need people to like you more than you need to honor yourself, then you'll be stuck living your life the way others think you should.
The cost of being nice, of pleasing others, is giving up your dreams, desires, choices, freedom and your joy of life. It might keep you from asking for a raise, taking a dream vacation, living in a favorite city, driving a fun car, having children, or getting an education - just to mention a few things you might sacrifice by being nice and pleasing others.
Other than never making you happy, there's a bigger problem to the nice scenario.
People who want you to do things their way, who want you to make them happy, don't really care about you. They only care about their own feelings and needs. They make terrible partners, friends, co-workers or bosses.
They care about themselves, at your expense. And it's up to you to see the truth about them. They are in the relationship for what they can get out of it, not what they can put into it.
If you stay, you will wake up one day and realize how empty you are. You will realize that you don't know who you are, that you lost yourself.
So do yourself a favor, find a partner, friend or boss who also cares about you. Someone who doesn't manipulate you with gifts, praise, supposed love and other things to get their way.
Find a partner who doesn't get pouty, whiney, controlling, angry or aloof to manipulate you into doing things their way. Especially when it's something you really don't want to do, and know it's not good for you, or doesn't feel right for you.
As the Dixie Chicks learned, there is often a price to be paid for speaking your opinion, your truth. But the price of being nice is far greater than any price you might pay for being true to yourself. Selling your soul to get material or other perceived gains, isn't what your came here to do or be. You came here to live an authentic life. You came here to thrive. You can't thrive when you turn against yourself.
Choose to not back down. Choose not to make nice. Choose to be kind, firm, humble and loving. Choose to listen to your heart. Choose to trust that God Source Creation has great people lined up for you if you make room for them, then trust and stay positive.
Imagine the possibilities...
(c) Carol C. Chanel
About the Author:
Carol Chanel is a Certified Life Coach who works with people to create new, meaningful and FUN lives. You can learn more about how to create loving and healthy relationships, draw boundaries, not take things personally, be happy to be who you are, and make time for fun by going to her free ezine archive.
http://www.carolchanel.com/rockin_relationships.html
More new articles.
Copyright © 2009 Carol Chanel
At the 2007 Grammy awards The Dixie Chicks song "I'm Not Ready to Make Nice" won the Grammy for best song.
The storm of controversy that spawned the song is known to many. The hottest selling female country band in music history, the Dixie Chicks, got knocked off a lot of radio stations and suffered significant financial losses when one of them expressed a political viewpoint during a London concert in 2003. Whether you agree with them or not, isn't what I want to focus on in this article.
As the Dixie Chicks worked their way out of the controversy, they wrote an award-winning, powerful song that can be a great guide for all of us.
"I'm not ready to make nice. I'm not ready to back down...I don't have time to go round and round and round...I've paid a price and I'll keep paying... I can't bring myself to do what it is you think I should."
That last line is the key to living your life from a place of freedom, peace and joy. If you try to live your life to please others, or to do what they think you should, you'll never be happy or fulfill your dreams.
People will find all sorts of ways to try to manipulate you into doing things their way. They will give you gifts, promotions, raises, love (well not really, but they say they will), housing, food, and validation. They will act pouty, whiney, controlling, angry or aloof to try to get you to do things their way. And all you have to do is give in, speak, act and do it their way. All you have to do is sell your soul!
Am I being dramatic? Not really. When you live your life by someone else's standards and wishes, you aren't living it according to what feels great for you. And you will never be happy under those circumstances. And it's your life!
As women, many of us were raised to be nice little girls. We were taught that being people pleasers had benefits. After all most of us had moms and dads who validated, rewarded and loved us when we were good.
And that might have been okay when we were small, since we couldn't survive without mom and dad, but now as women it's not good for us.
I'm not implying that you need to be nasty. Kind and firm are appropriate and a great guide for living your life, especially combined with humble and loving.
But if you think that you need people to like you more than you need to honor yourself, then you'll be stuck living your life the way others think you should.
The cost of being nice, of pleasing others, is giving up your dreams, desires, choices, freedom and your joy of life. It might keep you from asking for a raise, taking a dream vacation, living in a favorite city, driving a fun car, having children, or getting an education - just to mention a few things you might sacrifice by being nice and pleasing others.
Other than never making you happy, there's a bigger problem to the nice scenario.
People who want you to do things their way, who want you to make them happy, don't really care about you. They only care about their own feelings and needs. They make terrible partners, friends, co-workers or bosses.
They care about themselves, at your expense. And it's up to you to see the truth about them. They are in the relationship for what they can get out of it, not what they can put into it.
If you stay, you will wake up one day and realize how empty you are. You will realize that you don't know who you are, that you lost yourself.
So do yourself a favor, find a partner, friend or boss who also cares about you. Someone who doesn't manipulate you with gifts, praise, supposed love and other things to get their way.
Find a partner who doesn't get pouty, whiney, controlling, angry or aloof to manipulate you into doing things their way. Especially when it's something you really don't want to do, and know it's not good for you, or doesn't feel right for you.
As the Dixie Chicks learned, there is often a price to be paid for speaking your opinion, your truth. But the price of being nice is far greater than any price you might pay for being true to yourself. Selling your soul to get material or other perceived gains, isn't what your came here to do or be. You came here to live an authentic life. You came here to thrive. You can't thrive when you turn against yourself.
Choose to not back down. Choose not to make nice. Choose to be kind, firm, humble and loving. Choose to listen to your heart. Choose to trust that God Source Creation has great people lined up for you if you make room for them, then trust and stay positive.
Imagine the possibilities...
(c) Carol C. Chanel
About the Author:
Carol Chanel is a Certified Life Coach who works with people to create new, meaningful and FUN lives. You can learn more about how to create loving and healthy relationships, draw boundaries, not take things personally, be happy to be who you are, and make time for fun by going to her free ezine archive.
http://www.carolchanel.com/rockin_relationships.html
More new articles.
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