Article Presented by:
Copyright © 2008 Alex Russell
Seeing the recent media coverage of the marriage of Nick Cannon and Mariah Carey's quickie island wedding has brought out a lot of cynics. There seems to be strong undertones to a quickie celebrity marriage from a few years ago - anyone remember Renée Zellweger and Kenny Chesney? Yeah, that one ended in a quickie annulment. Don't get me wrong, there have been no accusations of cheating between any of the celebrities I've mentioned, but it happens in other marriages!
Cheating comes in many forms. There's online cheating, where your spouse may not ever meet the other person in real life but spends plenty of time emailing, chatting, instant messaging, and maybe sending pictures or videos through the internet. There's also emotional cheating, which has received a lot of media attention in the past few years. Emotional cheating can start off as a casual acquaintanceship or friendship. There may not even be any overt or obvious flirting involved. But your spouse turns to this person and confides in them more than they confide in you! To the cheater, this may not even occur to them be cheating but it certainly is if it at all affects the quality of the marital relationship between the two of you!
Finally, there's the type of cheating that comes to mind when you hear about a marriage breaking up - physical cheating. In this case, your spouse has strayed from his or her marital vows and has had a physically intimate relationship with another person. The level of physical intimacy that constitutes cheating is different in different relationships. In some cases, hugging or kissing someone's cheeks is cheating, while in others only sexual intercourse is considered cheating. The boundaries can only be decided between the actual married couple.
So what do you do if you suspect your spouse is cheating? There are lots of ways to catch your spouse cheating. These range from inexpensive and basic to every expensive and more complicated. Just remember, if your gut is telling you something is wrong, there's a good chance there is. Your intuition is there for a reason so pay attention to it!
1. Ask Them. Yes, ask them! Some cheaters, especially if it's been going on for awhile, are suffering from a really guilty conscience. Just the mere act of you asking, can knock your spouse off-guard enough to elicit a truthful response. This strategy isn't for everyone, though. If you use it without having seen any "signs or symptoms", you could really send your relationship into turmoil for awhile or even do permanent damage to the trust you two have. If your partner is determined to keep both you and the other person, they are probably not going to tell you the truth. But the mere act of you asking is going to set them up to be more careful and cover their tracks more. So be wary of this tactic!
2. Check the computer. There are lots of things to check on the computer your spouse uses. Check the browser history to see what websites they're visiting. If you don't know what a website is, just click on the address and you'll find out. You can also install a key logger application that will track every keystroke your spouse makes. If installing something isn't your thing, you can also buy an external device to attach to the computer that will do the same thing. Just be careful because if your spouse is very tech savvy, they may recognize such a device. If you do use a key logger, take note of passwords and then check their emails, social networking accounts, etc. But beware - some of the programs you may log into may show the user is online to the user's friends. You might find yourself in a bad situation if someone tries to chat with you and catches on that you aren't your spouse! Then again, that could be just the proof you need!
3. Take a lie detector test. If you can get your spouse to take one, you can write down whatever questions you want the examiner to ask. Just keep in mind that whatever you find out, even if it's nothing, is probably going to significantly alter the trust levels in your relationship. And, in most cases, the results can't later be used in court such as in divorce proceedings.
4. Set a trap. Tell your spouse you're going out of town for the weekend, then hunker down and watch. You may even need to follow your spouse at some point, so it may be a good idea to use another car. Spouses are more likely to cheat when they think their significant others are out of town or otherwise occupied. You could also arrange for someone to make a pass at your spouse and record the conversation. A private investigator can also arrange all of these things from the surveillance to the person hitting on your spouse.
5. Vary your schedule. Come home at unusual times and "run into" your spouse seemingly coincidentally. You never know what you might see them doing!
6. Pay attention to changes. Changes in physical appearance - going to the gym more often, tanning salon visits, new hair styles, colognes, under clothes, new showering habits, and new clothes can all be signs that your spouse is trying to impress someone new. Changes in behavior - suddenly having lots of late night meetings, staying awake long past when you might both normally go to bed, talking on the phone to one particular friend more often, not wanting to have sex as much, or significant changes in attention and affection with you.
7. Test their DNA! If you do a web search for infidelity tests, you'll find that you can test 5-10 articles of clothing with a single test. Tests are not as expensive as you might think and could bring a big peace of mind... or the need for a lawyer!
About the Author:
Alex Russell has performed extensive research in the arena of letters from Santa, and devotes much of his time to reviewing websites that offer services for Santa letters. Alex has earned the respect of many Christmas authority websites such as http://www.PackageFromSanta.com, for his highly regarded articles on such topics as "How to Write a Letter from Santa" and "The Truth about Santa Letters."
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment