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Copyright © 2009 Karen Sullen
Baby showers really help prepare Mom for the arrival of her new arrival - especially if she's having multiples. It goes without saying that babies need a lot of stuff! Twin babies means twin baby gifts! From baby bottles to baby blankets, everyone will be seeing doubles before the day is done. Now, you'd think after all of that Mom would be ready for the big day, right? Well, not quite. Nothing can prepare Mom for the onslaught of questions that seem to follow twins wherever they go. But, take heart, oh brave Mom. If you're having twins, maybe this list of questions (and quick-witted answers) might just arm you with the ability to fire back - or grin and bear it. (Caution: To avoid altercations, these eyebrow-raising answers are to be served with a smile and a hearty laugh as the chaser.)
Question:. Are they twins?
Answer #1: No, they're complete strangers!
Answer #2: Twins? There's only ONE baby here. You must be seeing doubles! (Then look around strangely)
Answer #3: (my personal favorite) No, I just had sex with two different men on the same day. It's just my luck that both of them got me pregnant!
This tops the list as the most common question asked about twins. That's why it rates three answers. Although harmless, it can be quite annoying by the time you've answered it for the thousandth time because the answer seems so obvious. Basically, what they're saying is that the whole twin thing intrigues them, and this is the best way they know to strike up a conversation. So, you'd better get used to this question.
Question: Which one is older?
Answer: Neither. They both came out at the same time, and boy did that hurt!
Why do people feel compelled to ask this, as if a matter of seconds would really make a difference in their personalities? Birth order typecasting does not really apply to multiples. They grow up together, completely side-stepping the oldest-, middle- and youngest-child syndromes.
Question: How come their names don't match?
Answer #1: Uhhh, because we didn't want them to!
Answer #2: Well, we thought having their faces match was enough.
Why do people always assume that because of their looks their names need to match, as well. But, I say ix-nay on the twin-ay! Let your children be individuals and purposely choose names that don't rhyme, start with the same letter or otherwise "go together." It will put them on the path to personal freedom.
Question: How do you tell them apart?
Answer: We can't. That's why we tattooed their names on their feet at birth.
How ridiculous! Even with identical twins, there are differences - even if they are subtle. No one is an exact duplicate of the other, otherwise they'd be clones! It might be a heavier face or more closely set eyes. Taking the time to get to know twins, you'd be amazed at how different they really are.
Question: Did you have them "naturally?"
Answer: Naturally, I had them. What did you think - the twin fairy dropped them off?
You have to give this response as if you're totally oblivious to what they're really asking. It turns this very delicate and private discussion of how they were conceived (or delivered) on its ear. How rude for someone to even ask or imply that you had artificial insemination. Is that any of their business? This is an extremely personal question, and one which strangers have no business asking. Whether they are referring to how the multiples were conceived (ie with fertility enhancements) or how they were delivered (vaginally vs. c-section), that is between you and your family, and its simply not polite to ask unless the person is already on familiar terms.
Question: Are they Siamese twins?
Answer: Do you need a dictionary?
A Siamese twin is someone who is physically joined to his or her sibling. And, they are rare. So, obviously, if you're looking at two separate individuals who are not joined together, they can't be Siamese. It amazes me that anyone would even ask that.
Question: Are your boy and girl twins identical?
Answer: No, one was born with a penis.
I must say this to the chagrin of plenty well-meaning folks out there, but boy and girl twins cannot and never will be identical twins! Identical twins are formed when the same egg splits in two. One egg cannot be both male and female. So, if you see boy and girl twins, they are most definitely fraternal.
Okay, I know I said seven questions, but here's one bonus statement...
Statement: I'm glad they're yours and not mine!
Reply: Me, too!
Enough said.
While most questions and comments are genuine and not intended to offend, some can be down right rude and personal. Don't let it get the best of you. Just know that you're a part of an elite group that everybody just can't help talking about.
About the Author:
Karen Sullen is a writer for Corner Stork Baby Gifts where you can shop for twin baby gifts and other unique gifts for babies. http://www.cornerstorkbabygifts.com/its-twins.aspx
Read more of Karen Sullen's articles.
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